So far you've heard almost nothing but positive things from me about my experience here. But I'd be lying if I said I never miss home. Last night I wanted nothing more than to be able to talk to Eli, but I couldn't reach him. To build upon the frustration expressed in my last post, I got yelled at today for eating in class (and it was a croissant, no less).
In spite of my thrill at living in Europe, I miss the simplicity of being in my own culture. Then, at least, I know which end is up. I miss the people who really know me. But if I were to go home today, I think I would be in a serious state of reverse culture shock. Right now I am stuck in between two worlds, not knowing exactly where I belong. Maybe I don't really belong to either country ... I don't know. The question has grown to such a proportion that I can never get it out of my head.
I still consider myself so lucky to be here and having this experience. I am sure what I am going through now is part of the experience, but in the present it's a miserable state of being. Oddly enough there is a saying in French that always seems to help when I'm facing a daunting task ... Bon courage. It's used like "Good luck" but it means more ... like the person saying it knows you have what it takes to get the job done and is encouraging you to have faith as well.
I would venture to guess if you were here with me now, that is what you would say. I'm listening.
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2 comments:
BON BON BON COURAGE my sweet Em!!!!!! I know it's been a while since you posted this one, but I'm sure the Bon EnCOURAGEment applies (get it?).
Being away from all you know well does get exhausting. I love finding home wherever I am, though. You, more than most, have shown such courage in all the adventures you've pursued. So I think you are allowed to miss home sometimes. Nothing wrong with that. It and we will always be here!!!
Oh and another thing...your professor can stick it.
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