Relaxing ... in spite of the French

If you want to know how I am feeling right now, take a deep breath in and then breath out slowly ... ahhh. You feel a little better now, don't you?

I am starting to relax after two weeks of heavy Anglophone pressure. Oddly enough the French part of France hasn't been causing me as much stress as the courses I have in English. After the two papers due last week, I had a presentation today and an exam. I haven't gotten much sleep.

Even when the French are teaching classes in English, they have an odd approach to self-discipline when it comes to academics. It is, to me, much more like what I experienced in high school than what I am used to from ASU. You can get in trouble for not going to class, you have to ask to use the bathroom during the class and (but really you just shouldn't go at all) and you are not on equal footing with the teachers ... not at all.

Part of the reason I am breathing a huge sigh of relief is because I am not sitting through a murderously boring class right now. I should be there, but I'm not. I spent a full 15 minutes grappling with the decision of whether or not to go, because I know I "should" and the teacher will likely get mad at me if I don't. But on the other hand, I've had ten hours of sleep the last two nights and I knew I would literally be struggling to stay awake for the next two hours if I went. Ultimately, I decided that in the long run it wouldn't matter one way or the other if I went, so I may as well make myself happy in the present. The professor probably won't see it that way, though.

I've spent the last several months trying to make sense of the French perspective on these things. At ASU, I feel like the attitude is largely that if the student does not go to class, it is the student's loss. Therefore, it is ultimately the student's decision whether or not to go. That is not the case here. When students don't show up to class the professors get upset ... although I don't understand exactly why. It's also considered very bad form to get up to use the bathroom during a class, and you should ask if you want to go.

My American friend Nikki, who has been here for almost a year, says this stems from the belief that you should be adult enough to hold it through class. But my perspective, and that of many Americans I think, is, shouldn't you be adult enough to chose when and if you need to use the restroom? This is an interesting paradox because the philosophies of each culture come from an emphasis on personal maturity, but with completely different practices.

So if my professor confronts me next week about the class I missed today, which he may do, I will have to reconcile my desires to be a good foreigner and my own (firmly held) beliefs that I have the right to decide what I do with my time. Apologizing and promising not to do it again may appease him, but it would violate me. I'm beginning to see that these sorts of disagreements are the basis of all cultural tension ... because no one is really wrong; it's simply a matter of perspective.