Update from Edinburgh

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written anything ... I've been largely bogged down with exams and travel planning. My mom came to Lille for a week, and now I am in the middle of a two-week Spring vacation. The first week was spent in Edinburgh, Scotland (Which is where I am now - in fact I'm at the cafe where J.K. Rowling is supposed to have written parts of Harry Potter.)

Being in Scotland has made me think I am going to fall in love with a handsome Scotsman and end up having a wedding with kilts and bagpipes. But it's not so much a fantasy as a premonition. But don't worry, no specific Scot has swept me off my feet ... yet.

The second week I'll be headed "home" to France to pause, reflect and figure out what the hell I am going to do with my immediate future. Whereas I once knew I wanted to dive into an entry-level reporting position with a daily newspaper, Europe has shaken that goal loose (without dislodging it completely). Once I had one world, now I've got two. I'll keep you all posted as things develop and decisions get made. I will tell you one thing though ... when I left for France three months ago I never imagined I'd end up here.

When life gives you sour croissants...

So far you've heard almost nothing but positive things from me about my experience here. But I'd be lying if I said I never miss home. Last night I wanted nothing more than to be able to talk to Eli, but I couldn't reach him. To build upon the frustration expressed in my last post, I got yelled at today for eating in class (and it was a croissant, no less).

In spite of my thrill at living in Europe, I miss the simplicity of being in my own culture. Then, at least, I know which end is up. I miss the people who really know me. But if I were to go home today, I think I would be in a serious state of reverse culture shock. Right now I am stuck in between two worlds, not knowing exactly where I belong. Maybe I don't really belong to either country ... I don't know. The question has grown to such a proportion that I can never get it out of my head.

I still consider myself so lucky to be here and having this experience. I am sure what I am going through now is part of the experience, but in the present it's a miserable state of being. Oddly enough there is a saying in French that always seems to help when I'm facing a daunting task ... Bon courage. It's used like "Good luck" but it means more ... like the person saying it knows you have what it takes to get the job done and is encouraging you to have faith as well.

I would venture to guess if you were here with me now, that is what you would say. I'm listening.