Getting ready to say good-bye

Well, I can't exactly say France has made me a new person. But I'm doing things I never thought I'd do, and saying things I never thought I'd say. I ate a snail (but only because a cute French boy made me) and I finally admitted (as much to myself as to anyone) that I want to postpone a journalism career for more European adventures. So something has definitely changed.

I sincerely apologize to any of you who have been checking my blog for new posts. The weeks since I got back from Scotland have been tough, mostly because of exams. There have also been a lot of going-away parties. The international students in Lille are leaving in droves. Everyone I've said good-bye to has said more or less the same thing; that this is an experience they will never, ever forget. Some were thrilled to leave France, others in tears. As for me, when I look around, all I can think is my heart is going to ache when I leave this place.

But hopefully I'll be coming back! I'm applying for a variety of different jobs so I can spend more time in France. I want to keep working on my French (which has already improved a lot) and continue my European adventures. I'm not done with France yet, and honestly I don't think it's done with me, either. I thought I was pretty smart, then I realized I'm only smart in one language. I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life, then I was given some new options.

I have finally finished all my exams and I'm expecting to be in France for another month or so. I'm hunting around for a job here either teaching English or perhaps working as an au pair. I'm planning to spend at least the summer in Arizona because a) I have to return to the States to apply for a work visa anyway and b) I can't afford to stay here much longer. Then there's the very important c) I miss my friends and family terribly.

There are other things I've stopped missing, like Starbucks and the convenience of being in an English-speaking country. I like that communicating is a challenge. I've also grown to like things I couldn't stand when I got here, like the bise (the double kiss for hellos and good-byes). Some things -- like the hierarchical, disorganized nature of my university -- still bother me. But really, it's just given me a new respect for Americans. I used to criticize ASU for being beaureaucratic and treating students like numbers. Now I appreciate how effeciently they handle 60,000 students. Above all else, I've learned a lot about what it means to be an American. But that's a whole other blog entry.

I will keep you all posted on the job search, and other adventures I'm bound to have before I leave. I want to thank all of you who have read my blog and given me feedback ... writing this has kept me connected to home and helped me to put this experience in perspective. I've realized how lucky I am to be here, and how lucky I am to have so many great people who care about me -- even when I am so far away.